Sunday, July 26, 2009

spousal support/child support.

my thoughts nd views on it.
plus method man and redman's too hehe.

now I was on
and I came across this video.

wll watch the video.
I'm not about to tell you all about it
nd ish.

I can say I 100 percent agree w/ method and red.
wll mayb like 92 percent.
because I mean they aint have to say all that
the P***y isnt worth it. that was a lil xtra LOL.
but funny known the less.

wll I feel like 55k!?
like are you fxckn kindin me!?

nd wait its not like 55k a year or something.
its 55k a month.


most americans/ppl dnt even make that dmn much
a year. I mean wll the ppl I know LOL.
dnt make that much a year.
let alone to have to pay that much a month.

for a dmn baby thats probably 3 days old!?

HELL NAW! hell naw.
not I. I'd b a dead beat father in a minute.
quit my job nd everything so I wouldnt have to
pay that much. go back to court or something.

that is CRAZY!.

yes I do feel that their are some dead beat fathers
ie: my real one. who dnt do shit for their child.
guess what!?
my father was suppose
[did ya'll catch that suppose]
to pay but he didnt

nd did my mom act a dmn fool nd ask for all this
xtra nd keep going bck n forth to court. NO!
she was a single mother who did it all on her own.

so guess what ladies. its POSSIBLE!!

stop trying to be sneaky angry women who are trying
to get bck at the nigga because he left you! by takin
all of his dmn money.
get a dmn career a job or something and take care of
your dmn self. nd yes child support would be nice
cause it can help out. but that does not mean take
the babies money nd spend it on gettn your dmn nails dne.

this is not in regards to all females
just the grimey hoes who wlk around singing.
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. but can't so shit for themselves.

matter of fact let me get into it for real.

Women: I can feel for you if you were a stay at home mom
nd now your getting a divorce but guess what you put yourself
in the predictment. with the way it is now a days everyone knows
divorce is like getting a new cell phone everytime a new one
comes out. its happens all the dmn time. therefore. be smart!!
yeah he may want you at home but you better have a secret saving
account or something, or work a part time job at least and save
for emergencies such as DIVORCE! so whn you find yourself alone.
you have something to fall back on until you are able to get a job!!
nd take care of yourself. women who work yeah its probably still going
to be hard when you get a divorce because ya'll may have something
going like you pay these bills he pays that so its going to be tight.
one: cut back on your spending whn it comes to clothes nd all that extra.
two: DOWNGRADE!! I know you want the big nice ass house but guess
what you can't afford it alone so how about. you get a nice apartment
or a nice house thats cheaper that you can afford on your own.
so your kid is still able to live a nice life. think of this. it is not
his responsiblity to pay your house nd his. think about it if the roles
were reversed nd you had to pay for not only yours but his. time are HARD!
therefore its ok to downgrade having a big ass house isnt going to
make your kid a better person. your one that influences the child and
is responsible for how the child turns out. not the materials.
so stop trying to live some uppity ass life and be happy w/ what you have.
remember its not about you but about the kid.
so regardless of you being mad because he left whatever be mad but
dnt let that shit hinder the situation put it aside and think about
your kid.!! thats whats wrong w/ ppl these days they think about themselves.
if you need help cause it gets hard and your having a hard time paying
for the downgrade due to this because trust me I know shit happens
its ok to ask for help that doesnt mean take advantage of this situation.
or change it around because your still bitter. [you heard that key word.
YOUR!!] and you want your ex to struggle.


Men: yes divorce does happen, but you can still be a great father.
by being their for your kid making sure your kid has. dnt punish the child
because you can stand that ex hoe of yours she is still your babys mother
and gave you a great gift. so put all the hard feelings out nd come
to some type of agreement. if you act right you may find yourself NOT IN COURT
and not having to pay tons of child support. [keyword:act right] this means.
taking your kid out, buying the kid some new shoes when their needed and
going back to school shopping. basically playing an active role in the childs life.
if the ex ask for some money because the kid needs to go to the doctor give
her the dmn money or tlk it out. make something work cause i know the doctor
can be expensive lol.

basially what I am saying is spousal support is some bullshit.
child support should only be dne if the mother/father is
not helping out in anyway but that does not mean go to court
nd take half of what he/she has. be resonable.

and if you can work out some kind of agreement outside of the court.
put your own feelings aside and think about whats best for the child!!
point _____ [.]

basically just make it work shit.

ps. the real reason i stopped writing is.
i got tired of typing LOL.
mayb i'll come bck in finish.

oh yeah kelis. you are dumb!!
spousal support so you can maintain
a lifestyle. you better learn to do
it on your own. dumb broad.

convenient -spell check! FRIEND!?

have you ever known someone to just b
there when its convenient for them!?

um. YA! LOL.

well let me go on record to say.

I am not the muthaeffn ONE!

if you think you can be my friend.
whn you have no one else.
when times arent going good for you.
when your life is suddenly in shambles
nd you need someone to tlk too.

you got the game FXCK'd up!!

I am not nor will I ever be.
your friend whn its convenient for you.

I can let you know right now.
I'm not the person you can run to
at the end of the day when everyone
has left you behind!

if you knew the true definition of a friend
you'd know that you are there through thick and thin.
not when you dnt have anyone.
a true friend is someone you can trust and confide in.
someone you can run and cry too.
someone who gives you advice and tells you the truth
whether its something you want to hear or not.
and so on and so on. shit you know.

not someone who.
whn goings get good!!
you dnt just diss your friends
who were there first.
but expect to pick them up
whn shit gets tough.
because during this diss process
you lose your friends
so whn those superficial hoes
decide enough is enough and their
dne w/ you. you will have NO ONE!!
or at least I can tell you.

I have no sympathy for anyone
who puts themselves in a bad situation.
you made your bed now sleep in it.

everyone knows.
you never burn a bridge.
because you'll never know when
you need to cross it again!!

nd I know ppl are probably thinking
wll your not a good friend yourself.
because your not there in the end.
wll I give everyone a chance.
the first time its a mistake but
after the second nd third time it is
no longer a mistake you know what your
doing and I am no ones fool.
so I refuse to let you think you got me!!
and allow you to take advantage of it.
therefore if this makes me a


wll I wear the title/crown proudly. :)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Say Whats REAL! part two.

who I really am.

I'm the girl

who loves to lay on carpet at night
nd watch endless hours of tv.
who likes to wake up early nd drink coffee
nd watch the food network channel w/ my mom.
who prefers to stay in the house nd do
absolutely nothing.
who wishes that for once her jeans would
get smaller and not because she grew taller.
who wished freshman 15 actually applyed to her.
wishes she had a car so she could never use it.
who has a love/hate relationship w/ her hair.
nd no matter how much she says shes wants to cut it
she would never actually do it.
who collects hello kitty.
who secretly wishes she had someone who was
totally in love w/ her [ie:lovr material]
who secretly wants the title.
who can love you one day and get totally irritated
w/ you just because you tlkd to her when she wasnt
in the mood to be bothered
who wishes she still played the violin.
who wishes her biological father would answer her
long lingering questions.
who is scared to get close to anyone because her real
father rejected her nd left.
who doesnt want to grow attached to anyone in fear that they
will just leave.
who misses her little brother dallas dearly. nd crys often over him
who pretends to be hard when really shes hurts nd broken inside.
who loves to laugh but gets insecure due to her "mexican tooth" lol.
who loves to run in high heels because its a risk I over come everytime
who secretly thinks she can sing in private but not in person.
who loves to sleep w/ TONS! of pillows
who is scared of the dark hince my night lamp.
who use to love to iron clothes.
who is extemely interested in black history due to my lack of knowing it.
who secretly hates being skinny but loves to stand in the mirror naked hehe.
who wonders if she is the only one who has some of the weirdest thoughts
while in church LOL.
who paints her nails just to make her mom mad everytime they become chiped.
who dreams that I'm secretly a princess like the girl in princess diaries.
who is actually very shy and has anxiety just going outside. so i push myself
who eats cookies because they look good on rugrats whn angelica eats them but is reminded just how average they really are everytime I bite into em. grr.
who has a potty mouth because cussing cracks her up.
who is mean because I'm insecure its true but i'm working on it! :)
who likes to wear sweats nd just chill.
who dresses up just to take a picture.
who wears makeup because I fell ugly that day.
who loves attention
who could never picture life w/ out her stuffed animals
who has had writers block since the 6th grade hehe.
who is told she is an excellent writer but hates english class.
who's favorite subject is seriously LUNCH.
who thinks root bear is amazing and the best just because its makes her burp alot.
who wishes she had ever pair of converse ever inventd evn though I never wear them.
who thinks doodling in class or ever is freaking LAME!
who thinks reading is amazing and loves libraries.
who wants a library card now. haha.
who thinks arthur is still a great show. pbs nigga.
who hates being a female during that time of the month nd wishes she were a boy.
who loves to crush on ppl hahaha.
who would go on a reality show because it'd be funny.
who wanted to pose in playboy ever since I saw a playboy magazing when I was little
who likes all movies that star thats so raven LOL.
who misses her first ever bffs. 5, 6, && 7 grade were amazing. 3lw

nd so much more.

I'm just your average girl frm
el paso texas. born nd raised.
who now resides in dallas.
and is getting ready to discover the world
all on my own. august 9th is my "move in" date.
I'm the girl who seriously hates college
nd doesnt wish to return. grr.
also why the fuck should I pay to learn.
I also like to keep alot of stuff bcause it
brings me memories. I'm just me.
I laugh whn I feel the need too.
I cry behind closed doors.
I worry too dmn much.
I smile nd stare out the window alot. :)
it is what it is.

I'm not rich I just trick alot LMAO.

born to a homeless mother who went through alot.
but guess what I'm her guardian angel!! I brought
so much meaning to her life. just like she taught me
I taught her. we've been through alot in life together.
and we continue to grow and overcome.
we've been through it all. lights off water off etc.
shes my bestfriend. as i grow stronger so does she.
her strength guides me motivates me nd pushes me.
my biological father
left and is living "the life" or so it seems.
with a family that doesnt include me.
I'm his first child nd only daughter. you would nevr know.
but God blessed me w/ a better person 2 to be exact.
I have a loving family and no matter how hard it gets.
I'm human. I'm blessed. I'm just sayn whats Real!!

Say Whats Real!!

10:57 pm.

blog will be written over
a course of hours cause I might
take ALOT! of breaks LOL
or it could take 2.9 seconds.
just depends on how long I can focus.
I need to be tested for A.D.D.
hyper is NOT! in my category.

so lately I've been having so many
mixed emotions its crazy.
or maybe I feel like this every summer
which is why I secretly disappear frm
the world, during this disappearance
I am able to THINK! relax, be ANGRY!
worry, cry, blah blah blah etc.

during this disappearance the disruptions
are kept to a minimum. I'm usually phnless
in the summer which works to my benefit.
friends cnt get in contact w/ me. ppl in general.
my parents work so I'm hme alone during the day.
nd at night whn I'm awake till 3 or 4.
its quite.

I'm addicted/n love w/ night but ironically.

I'm scared of the dark.

have you ever felt um I can't think of a word to
describe it, mayb overwhelmed w/ life.

I tend to get overwhelmed.

I feel like I've lost myself.
I know who I am, but I've pretended
for so dmn long that it seems like
acting is turning into a real life screen
play. but of course. it'll be hollywood-ized.

I feel like ppl dnt know ME!
like I've painted this picture
and its no longer make believe
its REAL! like when mary poppins
hoped into the painting and it became

or have you ever felt regret.
About the past and how it didnt play out like
you planned and now your somewhere
in life but it wasnt apart of the
dream you had cooked up.

ex: everyone has a dream such as
them becoming a doctor and living
this life w/ the wife and kids.
or maybe you just had opportunities
in life that you couldnt take bcause
of this nd that nd shit.

so you sit bck nd think what couldve been.

or you think if I would have dne this
mayb I'd be this way or life would b a
whole lot easier.

I sometimes catch myself doing that.
nd get angry in the process nd BLAME!
everyone but myself. and my excuse
for blaming them is I was young so it
was their responsibilty.

but I've come to realize.
life isnt meant to be easy.
and everytime I ask myself
questions like why wasn't I born
w/ a silver spoon in my mouth
or why do I have to go through
so dmn much.

it is all part of GOD's! plan for me.
and it'll only make me stronger.
so instead of being angry all the time
I need to learn how to be thankful!
for him allowing me to go through
so much. it'll only make me a better person
a wiser person a amazing/great person.
so I'd like to thank GOD! for all the many
lessons he has taught me.
also I must realize their are ppl out
there who have to deal w/ much more thn
me. so I must also thank GOD! for allowing
me live the life I have and coming so far!!
and for blessing me the way he has.

also, I've realized that I am truly lost.
I have no idea what I want for myself or
what it is that I want to do w/ my life.
because I live for everyone else.
I try to fit in! I try to be like everyone!
I try to please everyone.
but what about me!!

so as of today!!

I am living for me.
fuck the picture I painted.
fuck the mask I wear.

its time I reveal who I am.
its time I come into my own.
its time I live my LIFE!
its time for me to reintroduce myself
to world.

and this time.
its 100 percent real.
take it or leave it.

and although I dont expect
this new journey to be easy.
I know it'll be amazing.
though all the good and bad times
to come. I'll be happy doing it.

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right...

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
-Michael Jackson
Man In The Mirror.

Friday, July 17, 2009

OMG!! I had to blog about it!!

SO recently!!

the one I love to hate.

shaved half her head.
kind of like cassie.
she must've been inspired
by her.

nd I think I might b inspired
to do that same effn thing!!

but RIHANNA'sz was the icing on the cake.
evn tho the fade was a lil tacky!!





ps. notice I left lala out of the equation.
she just looks a dmn mess w/ her old ass.
can we say midlife crisis.

no one evn hears about her anymore.
now shes hangn out w/ YOUNG! ppl like solange
nd getn haircuts like cassie.
um. NO! :)

oh yeah!! wnna see more of rihannas hair
go to the website known for tlkn shit. bahahaha.

Monday, July 6, 2009

inspired by a loser!

so a Loser asked me if I had updated my blog.

nd I realized!! I hadn't updated the blog in a
whole LIL! minute. at first I was like I dnt have
anything to blog about. blah blah blah.

but thn I thought about it. nd I DO!

so yesterday night I was bored in frnt of the tv.
thinkin about what I should watch!
so I was like let me go to on demand nd see.
So I was on demand nd nothing caught my eye on the HBO
movie thingy part. so thn I clickd on documentarys
and came across a documentary titled.


well it was about the children of AGAPE!
which is an orphanage that takes in kids
who lost their parents. mostly to aids.
&& get this. MOST OF THEM SING! and they sound
and it REALLY REALLY REALLY touched me.
I mean I actually cried. ya'll cried!

so I wnt online to we are
to see what I could do to help these children
to raise more money for the orphange so it
can become bigger nd help more kids.
statistics show that their are over 1.2 million
children who are homeless w/ out parents
and aids over there is rising.
&& I feel so bad cause these kids are losing their
parents! and are left w/ nothing. I dnt know
what I would do if my parents died.

so you can either buy the dvd of the movie
buy their cd, send in donations, or volunteer in africa.

nd guess what.

I want to go to africa nd volunteer.
there are many other volunteer agencies.

so thats a plan of mine.
to travel to africa. yerp.

nd OMG!! this has nothing to do w/ africa
I have moved ON! to a another topic.

since I havent blogged in a min I have so much to
tlk about. weird LOL.

but so I saw those new kanye west too dmn much money
for shoes shoes. nd I like em but guess what they are too
dmn much. I am BROKE! I am a normal average american who
struggles. I dnt know whats wrong w/ these dmn famous ppl.

its like they forgot where they came frm.
they've managed to make it and are living the GOOD LIFE.
but um. what about us. I mean I am not bankin like thm
I can not buy shoes that they wear unless its the CHEAP version.
so basically i need to invest in some dmn knock offs.
aint that boutta a BIAAAA!.

um NERP!

why make clothes nd shoes that ONLY YOU! can afford.
what about your fan base that look up too.
who want to b like you nd dress like you or whatevr the case may b.

&& what makes matters worse.
is their some dumbass out there who is seriously going too
go out of there way by not paying their bills just to rock those
shoes. crazy.

nd I swear its a dmn recession!!


you know what let me stop complaining about shoes
I cnt afford whn their are kids out there who cant
afford what I have. I should just b thankful I am
able to afford what I do have. evn if it is considered
CHEAP! in america.

I can honestly say I am blessed.

now moving on.

this video was cool hehe.

oh! nd my fav. music video for this week


nd NO! its not drakes wack ass video.
that thing was horrific.



its marvelous darling.

ps. make sure you go to

nd take action.

make a difference
in someone elses life.