Friday, April 24, 2009

currently feelings!? i guess.

yeah so IDK! how I'm feeling right now.
I have so many different thoughts and emotions
running through my mind right now its crazy.


I hate this feeling!

emotional is so not me.

I wanna scream, cry, IDK! blah.
This emotional shit is so not for me.

but sometimes whn you supress how your feeling for so long
it can take over so since I'm bloggn now
I guess this is a way to relieve my stress.
To finally be able to breathe and just let it all go.

I kno most ppl think I'm heartless,
truth is I have feelings I just choose to not share them.
I wnna b seen as strong, not WEAK!.


so. I've been tlkn to someone for 3 years now!
3 whole effn years and I'm just not sure anymore.
The person is in college now and so am I and we dnt
live that close to each other anymore and just
w/ schedules and stuff I dnt get to tlk to that person
a lot. I mean before we talked everyday even if it was
just for 5 mins. Just hearing their voice for 2 secs
was enough. NOW! I never hear from that person.
I feel like were going dwn different paths and I'm not
sure I'm ready for this. This person is suppose to be
in my future or so I thought. I still care for them
and I know they still care for me, but I'm just NOT
sure anymore. Mayb were just going thru some things.
every relationship has its problems its storm and hopefully
its just raining a little. I pray the sun comes out!
Mayb this summer whn were both back home everything will
work its self out. I love the person. Even though I'm just
now confessing it. I kno they might transfer to UNT! I hope so.
I think I might actually b ready to make it official. WEIRD! LOL


my other problem.

well I'm growin up ya'll nd this shit is scary. LOL.
but for real though. Its time for me to start gettn back
on track, its time for me to take control of my life and make
things happen. I just don't feel like ppl are takin me serious.
&& ppl who I'd expect to be in my corner supportn me are
doubtin me!! I kno negativity is suppose to motivate you
and it does but aftr it being continuous it sometimes brings me dwn.
hm. IDK! I dont care I can't let it get to me. Opinions are meant
to be heard, but you have the choice to actual listen.
&& my ears are on mute. I have goals and I am going to achieve each
&& everyone. I know ppl may think I'm takin it lightly.
but guess what I'm not. I kno its not gonna b a walk in the park
but I'm willing to do whatevr I have to. because at the end
of the day I will be successful! I will make it.
My mother taught me everything I know and I aspire to be a
STRONG BLACK WOMAN! like herself. I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me. [I think thats how it goes LOL]

My faith keeps me standing.
trust I have a strong faith in God.

ps. I just realized I haven't made a video
in a LONG! time LOL. so video coming soon.

check out my youtube.

pure entertainment!

I'm sleepy.
so goodnight.
is amazing hehe.

YES! I designed the pic.
I'm awesome.
Get like me!

I'm a lil broke right now.
so until I startn workn
FULL! time this summer.

help me out LOL.
all donations are welcome hehe.

naw but for real.

I make TUTU'sz wnt one hit me up.

this is what they look like.

it does not include the corset just the tutu.
provide your own top.
[prices vary so just hit me up w/ comment.
facebook: Jazzie Jnerd Vassar
or twitter me:
or if your not into all those websites
email me or]

stay tuned.
more stuff coming soon.
I will b makin picture frames.
shoes, etc.


Deedee P. said...

First off....I LOVE this blog! You should TOTALLY write more like this. I like how real you were. I think it takes a STRONG person to be so openly "emotional"

Love, Relationships and everything that comes with that territory is intense. Like you have your highs and your lows. With long distance relationships, communication is KEY. Without it you have take stock of the situation and weigh the pros and cons. You'll know what's right for you.

Hopefully, everything works out for you. Sorry you're having a girly moment. (if ur like me, I know you must HATE it! im having a moment myself!)

Interesting quotation..
"Through the Goddess, we can discover our strength, enlighten our minds, own our bodies, and celebrate our emotions." -Starhawk

J.[N]erd! said...

aw. thanks mama. I love your blogs too. I read them on a daily LOL! or whenever you post new blogs. hehe